I am not sleeping well in the last couple of nights. I seem to be tossing and turning. I know it is my own fault. My mind won’t shut off. It is telling me I should of spoke up. Should of done something before it got out of hand.
I was even googling how to get an argument to stop; to get everyone to understand the other person’s perspective. I might have been in shock but kept getting stupid things in my Google search that didn’t pertain to what was going on.
When two friends get together they can really get into things. When a bunch of girlfriends get together …. Well….. trouble starts. Of course it is all laughter and fun and you leave out of your Second Life world feeling better then when you went into it. You leave with a sense of self worth and respect of yourself and the other people in your Second Life. You are so happy to be a part of Second Life. It means the world to you. These amazing people who you will never meet in real life have made you happier then you have ever felt. You are blessed and thankful your computer is working.
The opposite happens as well. You usually don’t see it coming. Mainly because you have let these people into your heart and very soul you don’t expect it. Yes, I am talking about anger, resentment, judgement and all those negative things you do not come into Second Life for. “DRAMA!!!”
It always starts with accusations. It seems to always be one sided as well when people are wanting to prove their perspective is the only right one. They don’t see any other side. They only see in their eyes they were done wrong and someone tried to hurt them on purpose.
When this person and/or persons try to explain they are not really listening. They twists the words around and make what they say sound like that person did it on purpose and even they should of known how angry you would become from what they did.
In retrospect most people in any world “I know this is hard to believe” are not out to hurt you. They do not want to jump your fake avatar bones or break up your relationship with your partner. They wanted just the opposite.
This is something that happened. I did have a part in it but really never thought about their perspective and when I stepped out of my mind and heard the other side I accepted and apologized. Mine was tiny compared to the attack they did on the other person. Believe it or not this other person was the happiest during our time at what our task was as a family of girlfriends. She was laughing so hard I thought she was going to pee herself. She even told me she hadn’t laughed so hard in such a long time.
All it takes is someone else’s accusations of what happened. Their perspective on why she did what she did and never even tried to see her side of things.
I think the biggest pain I felt is when I heard this adult woman start to cry. You see I can recognize different cries and not just because I am a mother and caregiver but because I myself have cried that same way. The way I am talking about is the breaking of your heart. The pain at feeling the people you cared about so much really never knew you. You feel they were never really your friends. The hurt is a break up of your self-esteem. It is a pain that if someone would have beaten the hell out of you it wouldn’t hurt nearly as bad.
I sat there. I did not know how to repair the damage. You see words cut you so much deeper then any knife. They are sharper then anything out there. Most cuts heal but words never really heal now do they?
I choose instead to do something I never do. I stepped back and choose to think about it and how to handle it.
I am really not sure what to do but my heart and head will not leave me alone.
One of the many things I have learned from all of this is what people really mean to others. I heard more than one say “We will not chase you!” For me I believe if you love someone, respect someone or even have a friendship connection with someone you DO chase them. You get together and talk it out. Even if after hours of talking “yes sometimes it takes time because hurt and pain takes time to understand.” Just wiping your hands of someone “anyone” is a signal that they never mattered. Not enough to try to communicate and work things out.
Everything and I do mean everything can be worked out if you just want to shut up and listen to the other side of something. You may not agree but you can agree to disagree and compromise at the end. Letting go and moving on is the opposite.
Maybe that is why there are so many lonely people in this world. So many unhappy and wishing for someone or something in their lives. I am sure you heard what PRIDE goes before? You may not believe in God but it applies to everything in life.
Love DOES conquer all. I am not talking just about partner love I am talking about any kind of love. Friendships are just as important to love as anything else.
So many say it is not your circus you don’t have to get involved.
Do you really think that is true?
I guess only time will tell.