When Second life takes a back seat

There comes a time in every Second Lifer when your just not wanting to go into the virtual world. There are all sorts of reasons for that and in this blog I will name some that I know of and of course I am sure there are plenty more.

Real life gets busy:

All of us has a rea life. The saying real life comes first is a given but sometimes we just get to a point where we think about going on the virtual world and can think of other things to do or maybe it is the evening and you have had a long day and just have no energy to sit up at a computer and put headphones on and start another life called Second Life. Remember most go on there and have things they are doing or people wanting you to come over and listen to their music while they are DJing or maybe just stand around talking. Sometimes you feel like your just not wanting to engage.

You Health is not what it use to be:

We all are getting older. Yes, all of us. As we get older different things come up. Maybe our eye sight is not so good or maybe or back is killing us from years of using it more then we should have. Some of us have had surgery or are waiting due to the Coronavirus to have the surgery and then there are some that just menially are drained as we all know Second Life is mostly a social place where people come together to talk. For me a tiny bit of all of that so far but mostly I have Tinnitus. What that is for those who have never heard of it is a constant ringing in my ears. Some from of course loud music and wearing headphones most of my life and some is stress related and depression that seems to make it worse. Of course some is genetic but however you want to look at it the ringing gets louder the more I wear the headset. I do go to a ear doctor heck I go to a head doctor but there is no cure. I have had it for over five years but it seems to be getting worse in the last months and no shock to me the doctor says my hearing is fine but my stress level is up just like everyone else due to this Coronavirus and being stuck not doing the things I use to do over a year ago. I have recently quit working as a hostess because I have to listen to the music and my DJ and by the time it is over and I jump off line to go to bed my ringing is just kicking my butt to the point I can’t sleep. Another thing that has had me leave SL behind more and more.

Second Life has changed:

I use to be in all sorts of groups with all sorts of adventures with all sorts of people. Those groups have gotten smaller and smaller in fact I am no longer a part of most of them. People have had disagreements and left and some have left Second Life. Some groups just got boring and of course some of the leaders had to leave due to real life. I know the only way to fix that is to go out there looking and checking out other groups but I have been in this world over 13 years and it is much harder to find new groups that I have not done then find ones a lot like what I am no longer in and was bored with so left.

Families have broken up:

Yes, this happens in Second Life. People get involved in other things, people fight and leave and sometimes people left Second Life all together for many reasons. I use to have over 50 people in my family now I have just a handful. It is a fact of Second Life and the changes in the real life world we live in today. Change is a simple part of life.

Our likes change:

I use to love to go to clubs or hang out on a land just talking. Now it is not the same. The people really are just standing around no one really communicating.

We change: I find my way of seeing the virtual world so different now. As I said I have been in there a lot of years and finding new things to do is a lot harder when you have already done so many things. I find myself missing many of my good friends and family that moved on to something else or maybe they just got busy in their real lives. Finding things to do is a lot harder to do. Sometimes I felt like people were waiting for me to decide what we would do like when they IM me asking what am I doing? If I say something like cleaning my inventory they don’t come back with saying they are doing something fun and did I want to come to. Which makes me think I am not the only one looking for new things.

In conclusion I still do think Second Life is an amazing place. It has taught me so much. I do still go on a couple times a week. I am very much still with my partner and we still talk in real life every day and enjoy each other in Second Life and in other games we have gotten involved in on Steam and such.

I look forward with all the new in the place on graphics and Bom that soon there will be new in adventures and things to do. How else do you keep people coming there year after year?

As always Thanks for reading



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Lag Lag Lag!!! Where did all this SL Lag come from?

During the year 2020 we have had so many changes. Many in our real life. There is of course the Coronavirus that has been so so bad and taken not only so many friends and family in many of our real lives but also many of them in Second Life as well. My deepest sorry and sympathy to everyone who has suffered these losses. 

I pray every day for those who have gotten sick, who lost their jobs, their homes and the loved ones. This time we are all in this together. Mask wearing is so hard for all of us. Washing until your raw and being locked in your home most of the time. Not to mention traveling is something we are not doing. I miss that and miss so many family members I can’t spend time with in the last year not to mention friends I can’t see but through Skype, Zoom or the other things out there to see each other and talk to each other. I pray when this is all over we all remember and be grateful for our normal lives such as they were and hopefully will be again.   

One other thing that has been angering many of us and has also been something crazy in 2020 it the folks who handle the virtual world of Second Life have made lots of changes. One is getting rid of many of their people who started this game we all live our Second Lives in. They hired others and you may see them from time to time in Second Life working on projects or checking out sims. 

The second thing is upgrading a lot of the Premium homes. They now have boat houses, Houses on water on stilts, Victorian homes, trailers and of course regular homes.  My partner and I went out looking at many of them that our friends have gotten and then he told me we are moving. You see throughout most of our SL we have lived in the Free homes given to Premium members. We have loved it and even though we have tried areas throughout SL and rented land and such most of our six years together have been in a Premium home.  He is a strong willed man and of course that is one of the many things I love about him so he would try his five tries for what he was looking for and then the next day do it again. It really didn’t take him long to find our beautiful boat house. I is on a corner and we just love it. We also have more prims so we are able to put more down.

We have our own boats and go out on the ocean and just enjoy ourselves so much!!

  The biggest thing that has us all upset is LAG now. This is not due to having to many open huds or to many scripts on this is because Second Life has been moved to “The Cloud.” The reason for this I have not talked to any people who work at Linden labs but I have been told by third parties the Cloud will really save on money. Now my Graphics card is a fantastic one.  I am able to play games that the normal computer even with a decent graphics card would have a hard time with but even this lag gets to me. It makes avatars look like orange puff balls for a long time. It crashes many sometimes it can crash a whole sim or more. I have sat in my home and watched my friends list “lets say 15 people” who are online all start crashing.

Many say this is a temporary thing right now but makes for our Second Life to be as hard to live as our real lives are right now.   

Hopefully now that we are in the year 2021 things will start to turn around. Really I pray it does in both lives. They have a vaccine in our real lives and have started vaccinating people 65 and over. I am going to keep a positive view on this and believe I will get it when it comes to the rest of us. 

I think also Second Life will get better. After all I do believe the people who made it did so for their love of having a chance to enjoy a Second Life and to get away from all the things we are all trying to get away from right now.  

May we all keep our hope alive and remember time keeps marching on and things will change. 



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Do we really age in Second Life?

So the big question is do we really age in Second Life? My partner decided to look very different in the SL world. He gave his avi a complete make over. His avi to me looks even older then he does in real. I can say that because the two of us have been together over six years now and of course as many couples have combined SL ad RL with things like voice, and video chatting so we know each other in every way but actually physically touching. I have always believed we would someday do that as well. Neither one of us met in our 20’s or 30’s so I can write this blog about ageing.  Sometimes I do try to forget that the second half or our journey of life is upon us. Our RL children are grown and our lives are settled. The thing that gets me thinking about this subject is this Cornavirus that we all over the world have to deal with. Most of us are concerned about catching it. The ones in their 30’s and down really are not. Probably because they haven’t had to deal with aging quite yet. When we go to the doctor in our 40’s and up no more is it just a well visit. Now they do blood work up and start to talk about what your eating and high blood pressure and cholesterol and so much more. As I have said in my past blogs my partner in SL has had many health issues since I have known him. Last night as we sat together instead of looking toward the future he is now talking retirement. I think that is the first clue of knowing your mortality and that you have more years behind you then you do in front of you. The doctors always tell most of us the same thing as we age. Lose weight, cut out sweets and meats and start to take care of yourself better. If you smoke then stop, if you drink do that less and the list goes on and on. 

Our Avatars may or may not show the reflection of our aging. As my partner has done we no longer want to look like we are in our 20’s. We don’t want someone younger then our children hitting on us. We want to enjoy the time we have left in different ways now. I was listening to what someone told me about a 20 something year old in SL said the other day. He was wanting to go find a sex club to pick up girls and have some fun. Didn’t my partner and I want that just yesterday? Oh believe me I sure do still want it and  he does as well but we are no longer wanting to go out and find someone else for that. We know each others buttons and enjoy our sexual relationship very much. 

It won’t be long until we are back to doing all the things we use to do before coronavirus in our real lives. Getting out of the house and enjoying real life again. I think in a way, this time of our lives of staying home and spending more time on the computer was really a  real life and second life experience we would of never done if we were not in this pandemic.  It made us slow down and get to know ourselves a bit more. To decide what is really important to us and even more,  who is important to us. It helped us understand more and push what we perceive as life should be (in our opinion) and not push our values on others. 

Yes, my partner and I will meet each other in real life after all of this. Not everyone has that goal of their Second Lives but for us we are more then the sum of our Second Lives. We have been there for each other through so much of our real lives. We are more then the sum of our Second Life parts. We also very much love each other. Time is marching on and we no longer look on making careers for ourselves or starting a family or making tons of money although that would be great to have. We now value the people in our lives and the friendships we have made. 

In this babygirls opinion I believe true happiness is not coming from stuff but from people and friendships in our lives. Love is the key factor in all of that. 

Love one another and enjoy each and every moment you have because in a blink of an eye you will be seeing you have more memories of the past then you realized. 



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Winter is upon us in Second Life “2020”

Although I am living in Florida and don’t see snow we do get cold here. At least for our perspective. No longer can we jump into the Ocean water or dive into a pool. When we go for walks we usually wear coats and in the morning we were gloves and hats. Yes, it does get cold enough for us not to enjoy laying out in the sun for a tan or hanging out in our shorts and tanks with friends. 

In Second Life however it gets any way you want it to be. For instance at my partner and I’s home we live in a boat house on the water but he has recently put an ice skating rink up and guess what? It isn’t melting.  This is Second Life. A place for fun and adventure. A place to go shopping and a play to check out the winter months ahead. One of the places I enjoy going in the winter time is Calas. It is a place that has so many trails and so many activities. Right now they have the Winter Wonderland up.  Oh so beautiful. If you have a Second Life horse you can take him riding in the snow. If you have ice skates your can skate away and of course if you would love to go sledding with your partner you can jump on it and the magic slay will take you all over the park while you catch up and listen to Holiday music.

They also have different events going on such as live singers and even bands that come out to play for you. 

Go on out there and check it out. Bring a group or maybe just your love and cuddle under the blankets to kiss and emote to each other. After all this is what Second Life is all about!





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The Great Sales During Black Friday Weekend in Second Life

I use to go out for Black Friday sales in real life. For those who may be from other Countries or really just didn’t ever hear of it what the different stores do is put out really great sales. Not your typical sales mind you but the type that are not normally done. 

In Second Life they have been doing that as well. I really am not sure how many years they have been doing it but they do it here as well. We don’t get the paper but usually what I do is either check out my group notices because I usually have them so they don’t go off when I am no longer on Second life. If I forget to turn them off then they mess up the different friends who leave me a message while I am off line. 

There I did see sales of 50 percent or more off from my favorite stores. I love it and have even been saving my lindens for this day. This way I get to grab certain things that I felt were to expensive for me. 

One of the sales is most of the mesh bodies. I have been wanting to try others although I do wear the Maitreya body most of the time. One such body everyone raves about is the Legacy body. They have three types to choose from for the females and two types for the males. It is really so very cool. I had one of my sisters help me because I am a dork when it comes to things like this. She had me in my new body inside of a minute and even had it set to BOM. What BOM does is make it so you can wear things that were classic and not worry about things not fitting in the mesh family. You still may want to wear whatever body your using as for me right now it is Legacy. I really wanted my partner to grab this one to but he is working nights and when I IMed him on Facebook he wanted the Signature Gianni one that is also 50 percent off. I gifted it to him for when he gets back because he won’t be back until way after the sales of Black Friday. It should be pretty interesting to see what happens with all of this. 

Now I feel like a little kid again with a new toy that I simply can’t put down. Danni is the Barbie of my dreams. I pop on in the morning this weekend and before I know it the time says 2pm and I haven’t even eaten yet today. Gosh where does the time go when your laughing, learning, and seeing your avatar transform in front of your eyes. 

Ok so I never wanted to quit playing Barbie’s as a kid and even kept them until this day in the back of my closet. “I’m a Babygirl what did you expect?” 

I wish I had more lindens before the sale is over would love to try Signature myself and maybe a new bento head or two and then the adult inside me slaps my head and says you have all you really need girl behave. *giggles 

For now I am going back and redelivering many of my outfits that I have bought that has Legacy inside of them so I can set Danni up in them. I am always trying to save room in inventory so I tend to delete all I am not using but thank goodness for redeliveries of what you bought in the past. 

I have been feeling guilty for not doing my normal duties in my real life and just sitting in front of my computer for a few days and playing with my Danni but maybe I shouldn’t after all we all need time just for us and the things we like to do. 

Ok so not dwelling on it just jumping back on Second Life and finding the next place to grab my Legacy outfit for my very favorite person right now. “Danni”

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I’m still trying to get into Blueberry, Addams and so many others since of course I am not the only one having a blast in Second Life on this Black Friday weekend.  If you haven’t had a chance yet please look up your groups and do it. You won’t be disappointed. 

*As always Thank you for reading my blogs. 

Hugs and Kisses 


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Saying ” I LOVE YOU” in Second Life

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Halloween 2020

Who doesn’t enjoy dressing up?

Part of being a part of Second Life is being able to dress up in any way you want to. In the virtual world your able to get together with your friends and then go out to Halloween happenings.

Right now in our real lives we are not able to due to the Coronavirus going around. I really do feel sorry for all the kids who just can’t go trick or treating.

Of course I am also sorry to all the adults since this is a time to have fun and party. As much as everyone wants to you just have got to take care of each other. No one really knows who does or doesn’t have the virus. After all it can take a week or more before people realize they have it and during that time the person can give it to someone else. This is why we wear the masks. Not because we enjoy it but to protect all.

In Second life we get to go out. We get to meet with fiends and we get to dress up for next to nothing in finance. How lucky we are to find this virtual world.

My partner and I have been going out and exploring all the different haunts out there. Kind of catching up with each other of course but also having fun and exploring.

We have been going out with so many of our friends as well.

The fun and laughter has been contagious. I have been going to bed on weekends around 1am and if you know me you will know I am a creature of habit. Usually I am only online a couple of hours and off by about 10pm to get things together for my work the next day.

I am taking advantage of the fun and friendship this Second Life world has had to offer with so many of my virtual friends and family.

I sure hope everyone is enjoying themselves. Having fun and trying to be as drama free as possible is just one of the many reasons to come into the virtual world and fight with the lag and crashes that happens so often.

Have fun with the couple weeks left of this spooky time of year. I sure am.

*Thanks for ready



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For the Love of Second Life

As I look at all of the things I have done in the Second Life world I am often looking back to all the friends I have made. I have realized there are more then I could have imagined making in the real life world. Part of that is I am not afraid to simply say “Hello” as I pass someone while shopping or “Excuse me” when I bump there avi as the lag gets the best of me. Some I have added to my friends list and of course some I have taken off of my friends list.

As we meet more and more people we learn a lot about the person behind the avatar. One thing I have learned is not everyone respects each other. Many people see Second Life the way they are living it instead of all the opportunities and adventures it really is.

There are still many who love to talk and talk and talk. They may be living alone in their real world and don’t get a chance to interact with others. Of course with this Coronavirus it makes that even more so. I for one have missed going places and seeing people in the real world. I miss the vacations I usually take every year. I do not miss the stress of the things I was doing before. I use to volunteer in many places helping people but for now I kind of go to work and stay home with my real life family. Doing so has given me the opportunity to explore myself more and also Second Life more as well as my virtual friends and family.

My partner is back in Second life again after missing him for a year now. If you have read my blogs “Some I made private because they were to emotional sorry about that” you will see I was going nuts without him. One of the things I did get as a positive from it is learning to love myself more. I did a lot of things on my own and realized I really do like myself. I enjoyed checking things out by myself and even shopping on my own. I met new people and made a lot of new friends. One of the things I did get out of it all is the fact that my partner and I really do love each other it is not just a virtual thing. I am happy I waited and I believe this experience will help me appreciate the time we do have together and to learn to be happy with the small things in life. He is a man with many talents and by getting through the health issues he had and coming back even stronger in himself and in us has showed me he is one in a million. We have had quite a lot of conversations since he came back and I realize even though he was not able to be with me or even most of the time talk to me due to all the medication they doctors had him on that I was always on his mind and in his heart. Yes, this has made us a stronger couple. I am lucky and blessed.

I’m a lot calmer now. Might be that I am a year older at least in real life. *giggles but maybe because I am happy with all I have and feel like I have accepted all I don’t.

I remember reading once a saying.

“We were not put on this earth to have a Good Life or a Bad Life but to have a Life. What we do with it is up to us.”

This is so true.

Enjoy both your lives.

*As always thanks so much for reading.



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All it takes is one opinion to wreck a whole family

During this Coronavirus most of us have stayed home way more than we ever did before. For myself I have not gone on vacation and by now I am planning or going on the second one of the year. “I get two a year through my employment”. We have all started doing more with the immediate family in our household if we are lucky enough to have people living in our homes with us.

Of course tensions have gotten stronger also during this pandemic. People are grouchier and snap more.

Unfortunately the ones who already have short fuses will be even more nasty then normal. They will be the type of people to look down on others and try to make them feel bad for whatever they feel is not what they believe they should be doing in their lives.

The same is true for the people in Second Life.

I am not sure if it is just more prevalent the ones who are opinionated, arrogant, wanting to hurt others in the name of justice for their views and opinions. Of course there are some like myself who just doesn’t want to get into stressful situations and stays silent or worse yet tries to fix the problem.

In my Second Life world I have so many different type of experiences. I have friends into so many different types of things from being a part of a Second Life family to working all the time in the virtual world to enjoying large groups such as Vampire clubs or Motorcycle clubs. When you join these types of groups be prepared to see just as much negative as you do positive. The term live and let live doesn’t apply to the heads of these groups. I have a feeling many of them have never learned to express their opinions with respect of the people they are talking to and to talk and not cuss and yell. To read up before they express their opinion and to realize there are always two sides to every conflict. I guess I have said before there are three sides. His, hers and the real truth in the middle. After all no one is ever 100 percent right. They may think they are but they never are. The right person is not the one who screams the loudest their opinion or the one who cusses every other word.

As I have said the Virtual World has many types of adventures. Many love these adventures and are not hurting anyone. They are just smiling and laughing and having a great time.

Of course there are those who feel what they are doing is wrong and they will shout to anyone who will listen how wrong the one doing it is. They want them out of that group and away from that community in any way they can get them out even if it hurts the person they are doing the damage to they just don’t care. After all they are the head of their world and so they must express it over and over and over again until this gets done.

One of the communities out there are the Furry community. I have never been a part of it but like everything else in Second Life I am always curious. It is a different community then the BDSM one of pet play. These people love to dress up in beautiful exotic animal outfits and play. Some of the families are like any other family with a community and parents and the works. Some love to hang out with just a few people who also enjoy it and find different Furry costumes to wear and then take pictures. There are even some who like to be sexual and feel it is a different way to enjoy the world of sexual play.

Of course many who have never studied what they are about and what they do in these costumes see it as a terrible thing and even go as far as to say they are into things that are banned in the real life world. They call it Beastiality. They never looked up the meaning of it and do not realize how wrong they are they only go by what they have heard or maybe pictures and see these pictures as such a thing. This is untrue in so many levels. The term “Beastiality” means for a human “person” to have sex with a real animal such as sheep and dogs. In order to be able to do that in the virtual world you would need to teach a dog how to use a computer and have the mind set to be able to understand and be a part of it.

When in reality the most two can do in the world of Second Life is two humans to put on costumes and jump on pose balls.

I am not into this although wearing these exotics costumes have interested me after all, don’t we all wear costumes of some form in Second Life? It simply means I am not doing that in my Second Life. I don’t judge or disrespect people. That is not what Second Life is about. It is sad when others feel this is something that it is not what it is and attack others for this. Of course the person who is attacking is wrong. This is not what is going on. It really doesn’t matter to the person who wants to abuse this person for being involved in any way with something that they feel is wrong. In their eyes it is wrong and because they feel that way they will make it known. It doesn’t matter if they do not wear the costume at their events or land that they pay for.

Life is full of abusive people and good people.

Life is full of judgmental people. Have you ever seen that Judgmental people never see the mess they made or that they are wrong. They always blame someone else. It is so and so’s fault or if we never let them in this would have never happened. No matter how many fires they start or how many people they hurt they never see it.

There is no way to go to these type of people who have always cut down others instead or talking with respect or simply closing off their area without starting something or not caming or clicking on their personal Flicker that causes Chaos and hurt and pain.

All I can do is listen to those who tell me about Karma. The ones who judge others are the ones who will be judged even more so someday. The ones who attack someone for being different are going to be attacked someday harder and stronger then they did.

I have seen so many terrible things in my life. I am always asking when are they going to get what is coming to them for hurting people. I guess they will get it in time and most likely I will not be there to see it. After all if I am watching, grinning and clapping that Karma got them then I would now be the judge now wouldn’t I?

The last I can ask is to stop and think before you speak. To not judge others and be respectful without doing or saying things that will hurt the person you do not agree with. Learn to live your own life instead of forcing your thoughts, opinions and feelings out for the group to watch. They may not say this to you but you are the one they are shaking their heads at.

As always thanks for reading.


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Treat others in SL the way you would want to be treated!

Just because people come into Second Life doesn’t mean they are really very different. The ones that blow at the mouth at others before they think are in both worlds. The ones that lie about things are in both worlds. The ones that are giving and caring of course are in both worlds and the ones who can turn their feelings on and off like a light switch are also in both the worlds.

How do you protect yourself from the pain people can cause in the virtual world? I am not really sure I can answer this one because I have been on the receiving end of all the above from others I have let into my Second Life. I will give it a try.

*Note: the things I say in this and all blogs are my thoughts and feelings and in no way is associated with anyone or anything.

Ok!! When you come into the Second Life world you are coming in as yourself. Your avatar is fairly new and pretty much looks like all the other new ones out there. With time and lindens you make up your avatar to look the way you feel is most like you. You give it the eye color you invision and the skin tone you either have or wish you had and the figure that is of course most of the time in our dreams. Most people in real life do not have “shall we say” the Barbie and Ken figures. Some of us have stringy or gray hair and some are bald or almost there. Most of us probably have more weight on us then we would want and some are way beyond that but we get to imagine being beautiful and strong both inside and out without any imperfections or health issues.

We start to make friends and join groups and some of us are even talking to these people in the real world. Some of us even Skype or Discord and can really see each other. We find out some of the others real lives and start to let them into our own. We feel we are close friends.

Some of us fall in love in this virtual world. It is not unheard of giggles

After all we mostly are just listening to the others voice and if they don’t put some type of contraption to change their voice to sound like something they are not in the real world then we listen to the tones and can feel from their voice and Second Life Actions their feelings for us. In fact we are on cloud 9 in the real world feeling someone is loving us for us and not for the jobs we work or taking care of them or because we are married with real life kids. We are loved for us. Do you know how very amazing that is? It is something you really do not get in real.

Now for the tricky part. People can be deceiving in the virtual world. Yes, they can in the real world but remember in the virtual world you lead with your emotions. We do not see them or live with them or go out to a real dinner or movies. We are giving them all of us through our minds and thoughts.

So what happens when they no longer feel the same way? All of the sudden they start telling you things in real are to busy or their health took a downward turn or they really just kind of fell out of love with you.

Some will tell you they are not really who they said they were in the real world.

Some will just disappear.

I have even seen some fake their own death.

Is there anything you can do to bring what you had back? If they come back later or you found out some dark secret of theirs can you just move on and forgive and forget?

I hate to say this but most of us can not forget. Even if we forgive them and spend time with them again our trust was broken.

Yes, they can make amends and say they are sorry.

A real strong person. Strong in themselves and strong in their belief that all of us make mistakes and we must accept their amends and move on.

I will tell you most of the time I am that person. In real I have been lied to and thrown away and attacked and accused of things I have never and could never do.

Believe it or not the ones that have come to me and apologized and worked hard to show me not just tell me that I matter to them I have even brought back into my life.

I think that is the key.

Not just saying the words but doing them. Do not expect to say I am sorry and it all goes back to normal. Do not say I love you and then go back to whatever brought you two to that place. You must SHOW it and BE it. You must show the person you want them in your life. You must be the amends.

I hope with all that I have heard and seen lately that people get that and do something to show the people who have given their love and it doesn’t matter if it is friendship love or romantic love but the ones that gave that to the other should always been showed how much they matter and mean to you.

Thanks for reading my blogs

This is just one babygirl from Second Life thoughts.



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